Self-love can be a tricky thing. With the media turning a love for yourself into a consumeristic narrative that you must buy the latest x,y, and z to be fulfilled I can understand the confusion most of us face. With the day of love that just passed us by I was reminded that a lot of us believe we are not worthy if we are not attached to somebody else romantically. The constant self-deprecating jokes of “oh, I’m going to be alone forever” or ‘I’m just gonna pretend it’s not valentines day because I’m alone” made me sad. And don’t get me wrong I understand using humor as a way to cope with negative feelings but being in a relationship is not the end all be all. 

Self-love is taking time for the passions that bring you joy, self-love is giving yourself grace and understanding even when life presents itself in hard moments, self-love is setting boundaries for yourself with your friends, family, and peers, self-love is so much more than buying an iced coffee and self-care items for a “treat yourself” day (guilty, guilty, GUILTYYYYY). 

One of the ways I choose to spend time with myself and reconnect is through music. Whether I am in a joyous, sad, angry, etc. mood there is a song out there that represents what I’m feeling. So my challenge to you this week is to listen to some self-love songs while you take some time to spend with yourself in the things you like to enjoy. I also will leave you with this quote from the book Ceremony by Brianna Wiest.

“The real love story was always you and you. It was how you walked alone and learned what you needed to carry. It was how you began to see through your own eyes, and not someone else’s. It was how you began to dig joy out from beneath your cynicism, how you slowly built your desires into form. It was how you learned what you like and don’t, and what you came here to be. The real love story was always how you opened your heart to yourself”.

Self-love songs recommended by Student Media team:

Vienna – Billy Joel 

Flowers – Miley Cyrus 

Video – India.Arie 

Be my own Boyfriend – Olivia Dean 

Just fine – Mary J. Blige 

I am not my hair – India.Arie

Butterfly – Cleo sol 

Self care – Mac Miller 

Reborn – Kids See Ghosts 

Doo Wop (that thing) – Ms. Lauryn Hill 

You’ve got the love – Florence & the machine 

I am – Fia